77% Recycled From Other Tumblrs: Why the friendzone is bullshit and self-proclaimed "nice guys" are misogynists

February 5, 2012

angels-and-angles:

Why the friendzone is bullshit and self-proclaimed “nice guys” are misogynists

Wow, accidentally deleted my original post. Reblogging so I can keep it in my archives.

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As defined by urban dictionary, the friendzone is…

“When you are expected to support a girl you…

This illustrates many important points. Good for everyone to read.

It doesn’t seem misogynist to want to get to know someone and spend time with them with the hope that it may turn into a relationship, and then be disappointed when it doesn’t. What this situation turns into in the context of the internet is a bastardized and exaggerated version of what has probably happened to every single person (male or female) in their life once or twice. It’s also not necessarily about sex. It becomes about sex, because the two people in this situation probably do everything that two people in a relationship do together except sex. So, if you define a loving relationship by whether you’re having sex with the other person or not then yes, inevitably it’s going to look like a situation where this “friendzoned” individual is only interested in being friends with the hopes that it leads toward sex.

I would also wager that the majority of the time the climax of this situation does not end with a sudden declaration of: “What a bitch you are for not putting out! I’ve wasted my time being your friend for two years and you aren’t even going to let me do you!” And then they unfriend you on Facebook and you never hear from them again, leaving you to wonder how such a good long standing friend could be so callous and uncaring. Often, I’m sure, the friendship just kind of fades like many friendships do.

My point is that we shouldn’t generalize. There are people out there who very firmly believe that men and women can not be friends at all. I strongly disagree on this as I’m sure most thinking people would. The friendzone concept probably has many shades to it. There are people out there who are best friends with someone who can’t imagine why the other person wouldn’t want to take that to the next level and be in a relationship with their best friend. There are also people out there who think that taking 2AM support phone calls and buying a friend dinner every so often is an inside track to rebound sex or something like that. There are probably guys and girls who take advantage of a friend that they know is in love with them. Just as there are guys and girls who are unaware of their friend’s desire for something more and are surprised when this is let out into the open.

Finally, the definition of “Friendzone” is automatically suspect due to it being pulled from Urban Dictionary. Urban Dictionary isn’t exactly the Oxford English Dictionary, and its definitions often seem crowd sourced (from some of the worst corners of the internet) and half-joking anyhow.

9:19am | URL: http://tmblr.co/ZP9LUyFwiKgU

(Notes: 13,526)