magnoliaporter:

shouldve stopped with the suicide note reading “take my life please,” it was obviously the best one

the funniest theoretical suicide note is George carlin’s proposed “Hey everybody! Guess what??”

I’m pregnant, you’re the father, and I’m gonna kill all three of us!

(Source: magnoliapearl)

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3. mrbildango reblogged this from magnoliapearl and added:

   I’m pregnant, you’re...father, and I’m gonna kill all three of us!

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