munch munch munch munch
NOM NOM NOM
just think about the condition of the contents of his mouth. one bite, salivated on and chewed on indefinitely. a wet beige paste.
Jared’s diet secret is that he chews each bite of his Subway sub until he feels confident that any nutritional value has been absorbed through his mucus membranes. His mouth does the work of a normal person’s whole digestive system. When he is finished, he exhales a colorless, odorless, mist of sandwich waste through his nostrils.